My name is Salem, though you'd never know it because my family insists on calling me by a variety of other names, the most popular of which include Little Mister, Fluff Muffin, Runt Booger, Munchkin Pie, Muffin Man, Boy Boy, Kitten Britches, Trouble, Dumbnuts, Little Bit, Piglet, Squirt Bucket, Fluff Baby, Idgit and Major PIB (Pain. In. Butt.) I will turn three years old at the end of August. As you can see, my mommy is a photographer. You can buy photos of me here on her website. I'd highly recommend it so she can continue to feed me yummy foods like chicken. It's my favorite! I enjoy bird watching, finding the least convenient spot to take a 5-hour nap in, knocking things to the floor, watching toilets flush, eating plastic and sitting in boxes. I do not like fleas, humming or the smell of Code Red. They freak me out. You can read my blog below, where I will document my many contributions to the world. You can also be my friend on myspace.

December 31, 2009. Lampshades are tasty.

September 9, 2008. Mommy tells me that my adoring fans have been requesting an update from me, so here it is. I've been so busy, spending my days hunting sparrows (I'm sure mommy is just fattening them up for me before removing the invisible shield she calls a window), eating bugs (ants are wonderful) and looking for new places to sleep (the closet? the bed? the chair? there are so many options). As you can imagine, that's a highly stressful combination, so I recover from all of that hard work by sleeping. Speaking of which...

January 1, 2008. Terrifying explosions of sparkling colored light are popping up across the sky. Mommy seems impressed, but she is one who is normally easily amused. The new chair has come in handy, as the perfect hiding place is located underneath it. Plans to destroy it may need to be aborted in case this sort of nighttime attack occurs again.

November 25, 2007. Meow! All meat-related Thanksgiving leftovers should be donated to the "Give Salem Food" foundation. 0% of all donations will feed hungry kids in Africa! *purr*

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